We sent each other messages but we never understood the gist of them. Too much was hidden in inner meaning never recognized. It was a ll a waste really. A waste built on trying to be overly clever. Or maybe it was really needed, as we felt at the time. But now we will never know because you can’t go back and change what you did especially when one of those involved even central to events is no longer with us. I would say dead but I don’t think that is really right. I don’t actually believe he is dead but just gone away. Gone away to where is a good question and to that there is no answer, but that is not unusual in life may even be how it is with nature.
There are actually few answers to any questions. Just a question or series of questions hanging in the air leaving us thinking but never knowing.
Maybe with this insight previously we would have not pushed and things would have been different, but back then we were just products of our education and society. We were non-thinkers just trained to accept what was pushed into us by school, peers, elders and even family. Just trained to accept what they called critical thought, rationalisation, logic and other such concepts that brought order but explained nothing and left you a pale and empty vessel with no understanding of anything in reality.
We never stood a chance back then. But to look back and regret r to think things could really have been different is wrong for everything is built around its context of the time and good or bad it was unchangeable and remains such. It was even inevitable. We had no choice for were created and moulded by those influences and ways of thought the same as all products of the system had been brought up through. We had no choice and that was known. We were so predictable. That is what we were and the outcome was decided before we ever did a thing.
Such is the stilting effect of what we were told is eduction but which was something that in no way prepared us for that time except as totally predictable even programmed automatons. In there lies the real tragedy.
Now,…. well something like that could never happen again because we have to some extent learnt to think and if all of us were ever back together again, which is as unlikely as anything in this world, then a different outcome is guaranteed, and one less likely to be seen as as tragic as the earlier one. The whole context would be so different and no small part of that is that we now are open-minded enough to now accept and to actually see rather than to interpret, rationalize, try to understand to actually know nothing.
It is said that people never learn from their mistakes or that history is there to be repeated, but that is just a more or traditional thought and one perpetuated and reinforced by our exposure to academia and other controlling societal influences that deliberately stop or restrict our very thought processes. In our case we certainly learned even if it were in such a hard manner, and involved learning to reject everything you had been trained and taught to think and to do to understand, and that to a large extent is why will never be back together again. That would be too difficult for even those of us who may think about it and of course as I started there is one who is no longer with us, but even excluding that person……