Everyone is haunted by some of the things they have done and yet everyone is haunted by different aspects of what they have done. People are all unique and what people cringe about, regret or merely can’t forget differs by every individual person. We all whatever we say have slightly or massively different morals, ethics, codes and life philosophies by which we live.
We equally cant project our own onto other people and hence it isn’t worth trying although communities may, and maybe should for the best of the community, come to an agreement on a low common denominator for what is acceptable and what isn’t. After all we are all social animals and need society and for society to work we need some baseline agreement. That however doesn’t mean that each one of us has our own standard for ethics and that in each of us on some issue or the other it will be higher than any agreed standard.
While we remain cringing, regretting or wanting to forget things we have done we also as confusionists should know that regret is a waste of time and a destructive waste at that. However, we still cannot avoid it and in there lies a contradiction, but then again contradictions are natural and part of life.