Sixteen – Two

Hold on you got a lighter? I’m going to need one if I’m going to sit here and talk while I put this together. There’s a few beers in the bag too. Quite cold. Should be OK for a while. Ok…OK… don’t rush me. Just relax. Im coming to that now.

What a dump. Our village and High Wycombe the town was a shit hole too, but our village that really was the pits. Two pubs, a post office come shop and a church. Now who the hell wants to go to church? But they al;l did. They wanted to be seen there. I dunno. Wash away the sins or some such crap. Mr Rondon fresh from a week of whisky and sodomizing his secretary while his wife sat at home knitting. And Mrs. Franklin fresh from fiddling her taxes. And all those curtain movers spying on anyone with a slightly less awful life than them and criticising them for it. And……. so it was. Wankers. A village of wankers. And all those horsey crowd. They even looked like horses half the time and probably rode their men as they rode a horse. And who drank in what pub. The Crown was better than the Castle or at least classier, but whoever got banned from one or fell out with the bores in one went to the other, which was a pretty good mixing pot. What a dump.

And there was me and my sisters from th huge house on the village outskirts. We even had a gardener and would you believe it his name was Gardener. And we had maids. In this day and age my own parents had and still have slaves. No wonder they never understood me. They weren’t bad people, just rich people and so completely tied up in their lives, businesses, reputations, circle and money. What I would have given for a family with nothing. Well nothing except for love which was something you wouldn’t find in my home.

And boarding school. What kind of parent sends their kids to a school miles away and rarely visits them except for some photo-op on founders day or some other such silly tradition. Yes, no ;love and exiled to an all girls boarding school which apart from discovering and dabbling in lesbianism offered nothing except for abject loneliness and training into becoming what my parents already were, and you know my opinion on them. Yes training into that sense of entitlement, arrogance and it has to be said stupid accent like the horsey ones in the village was all part of this privileged education.

You may have gathered by now I hated it all. Yeah I had money and many may be jealous of that and think what has she got to moan about, she’s rich? Well I had an awful upbringing. I had money but nothing else. No life. No fun. No love. Nothing. And money alone is overrated if you ask me. And let me remind you I’m now sixteen years old and stuck with a lifetime of some incurable disease and the prospect of bein as mother by seventeen.

But you know, you can’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself and I’m just letting you all know all this because it is fact. I’m not complaining because there’s no use being one of those who thinks they are a victim or constantly feels sorry for themself. No that aint me. And if you are wondering why if I am a rich public schoolgirl why I am talking like this, well that is part of my story and will come later.

Anyway did I tell you I got the abortion date sorted out? All that worry about being under eighteen and parents consent and nonsense like that seemed to disipate when a middle-aged doctor finds himself  dealing with an obviously sexually active sixteen year old in a school uniform, or at least that’s how it panned out for my visit. There’s a lot to be said for men’s fantasies. And talking of parents consent, what did they know of me to consent to anyway. They only saw me a few times a year and even in holidays shipped me off to dumps like Florence and Sienna to experience the culture. Yeah right. You know they would have consented anyway. Wouldnt have wanted the embarrassment. So I saved them even having to worry about it.

No, it is better this way. I have it sorted out and im in control. Fancy a beer, by the way, or a puff on this? Got it off of Eddy. Good stuff and now the abortion is arranged I don’t have to worry about deforming some kid I neither want nor would care about. OK be careful its strong and you aren’t used to it. Oh you are, are you. I’m surprised. Anyway things are better this way. OK you finish it iM off to that shop…….

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